>working itself out

10 Apr

>While packing some of my house up recently (you’ll understand more on that later), I ran across something I had written last November.

“Some days I feel in total despair. When I see others announcing they’re expecting again I feel the green-eyed monster take over me. A feeling that is never comfortable to have.
I wonder how others can manage to afford, manage a whole new lifestye with a second child. I would love to give Kellen someone to have that sibling bond with. Most times though I’m pulled back to reality that it’s probably more than we could handle.
I love my son-his smile, personality, smell, laugh-he is my whole heart. I can’t help but wonder if we are missing out on something more as a family.”

It’s hard to admit those things to yourself and others. When you are envious of others, it’s never a pretty sight.

I found out last month that I am expecting. At first all my fears came back and I cried, and not tears of joy. By late that afternoon, I was over the moon with excitement. We are jumping in full force and hoping we don’t sink.

My due date is exactly a year from when I wrote this last November. Some things are just meant to be and he will now have that bond I have craved for him

1 Comment

Posted by on April 10, 2011 in Uncategorized


One response to “>working itself out

  1. Kyah

    April 11, 2011 at 2:11 am

    >Amber, I have had some of those same thoughts and fears…so you were not alone. I am SO happy for you guys!!Tanzie


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